have.to.make.that.frigging.final.exam.i.have.to.give.my.students.later.

arrgh. that's how slow my brain is working this morning.

shamelessly stole borrowed from acid rain (with a few additions of my own!)

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE ME:
flunking the bar, losing my parents, growing old alone

THREE PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME LAUGH:
auntie (i challenge anyone to keep a straight face while listening in on her phone conversations!), judy, my cousin jiggy

THREE THINGS I LOVE:
shoes, bags, clothes

THREE THINGS I HATE:
stupidity, irresponsibility, incompetence

THREE THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND:
love, bett's handwriting, calculus

THREE THINGS IN MY BAG:
cross pen, cellphone, wallet

THREE THINGS I'M DOING RIGHT NOW:
typing, preparing for my class, thinking of exam tom

TWO THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE
wear jimmy choo shoes, get married

THREE THINGS I CAN FINALLY DO:
drive, write a thesis, put on make-up without looking like a clown

THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY:
shallow, fun, sunny

THREE THINGS I CAN'T DO:
sing, not go shopping, mamalengke

THREE THINGS I CAN'T BELIEVE I DID:
cheat on my significant other (but not the martian!), drive in EDSA, actually start working on my thesis

THREE OF YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOODS:
bee cheng hiang's pork thing, purefoods corned beef, alda's grasshopper mint pie

THREE THINGS YOU'D LIKE TO LEARN:
park the car properly, obligations and contracts (i passed but i didn't learn a thing!), to love unconditionally

THREE BEVERAGES YOU DRINK REGULARLY:
rootbeer, pink lemonade, water

THREE SHOWS YOU WATCHED WHEN YOU WERE A KID:
great space coaster, care bears, my little pony

this was what kept me laughing the entire morning.

i used to be able to keep track of everyone who read my blog.

now, a new name crops up now and then in the comments section. surprise, surprise.

can i make a request then? if you read my blog, please sign in the comments section and please note down your website so i can read YOUR blog too.

* * *

jayvee, i haven't forgotten the promise to link you. but unfortunately, i've forgotten your address. can you please post it in the comments section too? thanks.

btw -- good luck sa defense mo!

this alexis/ codename: shaider thing seems to have affected everyone.

even the usually down-with-the-government-cause-they're-too-effing-(now fill this with a present issue) kule had written something about his death.

wow.

and so the passion has died

i'm not passionate about anything anymore. i'm not passionate about my job. i'm not passionate about law school. i'm not passionate about my (oh-god-i'm-so-happy-it's-nearly-over-that-i-can-just-kiss-this-really-irritating-guy-in-law-school) thesis either.

come to think of it, i'm not even passionate about my relationship either.

(now my dear martian if you're reading this -- and i know you read my blog when i post something like this -- this does not mean i love you less, ok?)

i'm just cruising along life. it would seem as if i'm one of those people you see riding the fx everyday whose life is one big cycle: wake up, go to work, eight or so hours of work, go to law, two hours or so of studying, go home, study a while, sleep. it's not even exciting!

how i wish i had some of the passion jaemark has. i mean, look at the guy: he never goes home, considers blogging and peeing his ultimate break from work, and actually has time to write a speech for his baby sister.

or pam. she works. she parties. she even has time to attend her baccalaureate mass.

or unica hija. she works. she has a sideline. she goes to school. she goes on blind dates. she takes her dad out to the movies and her mom to the parlor.

as for me... i wasn't even able to watch the buzz last sunday (people at the dorm were watching s files. screw them.) and to think seeing kris aquino lose weight has been my only passion the last couple of months.

*sigh*

*even bigger sigh*

help.

found my archives. whew.

* * *

not that i'd want to remember the awful, very pathetic, simpering wuss of a girlfriend i was when i was with the ex.

it just feels nice to know they're there.

* * *

have 42 pages of thesis done ... need to whip up around 58 more.

that's where the gazillions of notecards come in. that and a whole lot of s**t.

my archives are missing.

* * *

shaider is dead. remember the famous line? time space warp, ngayon din!

* * *

one week to do as much as i can for my thesis.

that shouldn't be a problem, except that it's the same i week i should be slaving over my law books for FOUR exams.

sometimes i ask myself, why do i even bother? people i took my masters with all have pending thesis too. the only one who is slated to defend a thesis was one who was done with her coursework when i started with mine. imagine. she had four or so years to work on a thesis. my thesis adviser, the *evil* bb, is panicking, telling me how mine will definitely fail to measure up to the other girl's oh-so-polished thesis.

ha! was she awarded a palanggana award by her comm 2 teacher? i was. and for me, that means i'll be able to give her a run for her money.

(play rocky theme here)

right? maybe not. but then again this can always go to the land of the missing archives and i can always pretend i didn't write this when the panel rejects my thesis. he. he.

my tummy actually gets places ahead of the rest of my body.

bad bad sign. apparently, driving around doesn't only mean a thinner wallet for me but also the absence of much needed exercise. i used to say that i had the best exercise routine in the whole world:
1. up the mrt stairs with weights -- 5 kilos of lawbooks -- one repetition
2. quezon ave to shaw blvd with weights - ten to fifteen minutes. practice your breathing here especially if person next to you decided to forgo the shower or thinks that perfume can make up for the lack of appeal.
3. down the mrt stairs, again with weights
4. brisk walking with weights.
rest for the next 8 hours
5. brisk walking with weights.
6. sit on bus. repeat breathing exercise, but this time, for half an hour. not your fault if you fall asleep at this point.
7. squeeze on last seat available on up-philcoa jeep as you're already late for class. perfect for those thigh mucles.
8. pretend to look intelligent so teacher won't call you in class. this would have to be the facial exercise part.
9. walk to dorm, with weights.

* * *

did i mention you have to do these in heels?

would you believe that the biggest issue in uap politics is red juice?

this is what too much liberal education does to you.

allow me to quote myself (pam i hope your teacher doesn't read this otherwise i'd be plagiarizing myself too!):

i tried to convince myself that it was pangit. i fingered the workmanship and commented that it was poorly done. told myself that people would tell me that my bag looks like a basket people use to go to the market with. told myself i have more than one bag for each day of the week. reminded myself that i bought two shoes last thursday just because i felt the need to do so. i made a mental list of stuff that's upcoming: car insurance, car registration, first semester tuition fee, the possible hong kong trip with my brother, the possible bangkok trip with my lola and aunt.

guess who owns that bag now?

me.

US may be starting war this monday but i have a really beautiful bag.

* * *

was walking from law to the shopping center when i passed by a really sad wedding at the UP chapel.

at least it was sad for me cause there seemed to be more people in the entourage than guests!

i just hope that the marriage isn't anything at all like the wedding. i hope that the couple will be blessed with lots of family and friends to help them through the tough times, to join them through the good ones, and to stay the hell out through the really passionate moments.

some people multi-task way too much. this morning i saw a girl combing her waist-long hair while crossing the street.

* * *

cute guy in the mrt.

white shirt, black pants, yellow rubbershoes, and the cutest bag. his hair was neatly parted on one side and had some sort of pomade/gel/hair putty holding it down.

if you know him tell him i have a crush on him. i was the girl in red across him. doubt if he noticed though.

thanks for this.

at 9:30 in the morning, i was actually crying.

happy birthday to you!

remember when i first met you? i was grade seven, you were grade six, and we were both graduating from elementary school. i hated your guts then. you were this short guy who creamed me at "21" and laughed at me for being so awful at throwing free throws. i swore i regretted the fact that you had to be my kinakapatid just because our parents were good friends.

remember when we spent five days of summer together? we fought and fought and your mom thought twice of whether or not it would be a good idea to keep the two of us together in the same place. but then again, one evening we conspired to keep kit's toothbrush in one of the giant trophies in your living room and after that we were fine... more than fine. i can't forget the one night when we both woke up in the middle of the night because of the dog's incessant barking and how you kept me awake by calling out "lolo" and telling me that the dog barks when your dead lolo "visits" your lola in the middle of the night.

remember when you left without saying goodbye? that led to our biggest fight and after you came back, i refused to talk to you, no matter how many times you'd call me.

remember how we became friends again? i was so afraid of my ex who was then threatening me and i was all alone at home. you called, and unlike all the other times when i'd screen your calls or hang up on you or just tell you i was busy, i poured my heart out. you listened. instead of hating me for all the times i was hateful, you were grateful that something like that came up to bring us together again.

remember how we tried again? i remember. you broke my heart by telling me about "her" and "her problem" and how you had to go away because you loved her more than me.

remember how i wasn't there? you had big problems and you tried to reach out to me and asked me to be there. i remember making the flimsy excuse how i didn't know how to get to UST hospital to be there by your side when you needed me most.

most of all, i remember the thirteen blessed years of friendship with you, and how i know, no matter how much i screw up, you will be there and i will be there.

happy birthday my dear bud.

belated happy birthday to you!

* * *

lonting tiis na lang, tapos na ...

... ang second semester. i feel as if i haven't learned much yet - hell, we're not even in "trial" as far as civil procedure is concerned. i have met my teacher in agrarian reform a grand total of five (six?) times only. i have no idea about what goes on in specpro with the exception of the stuff i've recited on. pathetic.

... ang second semester -- for my students! waaah! i have way too much more to teach them! help.

... ang lecheng thesis. last day of defense is on April 11. I am slowly filling up a box with my notecards and stuff. yeah, i know -- what the hell was i thinking starting only february...

* * *

of all the weird things to do at five in the morning, i looked for my bathing suits.

last summer i distinctly remember having two: this awful floral number and this black tankini. brought them to bacolod with me, and i remember forgetting the tankini and asking my friend to bring it back to manila with him when he came back. i don't know if i ever got it from him after that.

as for the awful floral number, i used it again when i went to subic but it's now missing.

a good excuse to stop eating and to buy those amazingly cute two piece numbers that's all the rage these days.

* * *

saw this oh-so-cute-i-will-stop-eating-so-i-can-buy-it rattan bag from the black shop. it looked like a basket that you could put eggs in, but had this nice red leather flap ...

oooohhhh... i saw it saturday. went back sunday to gaze at it again. the martian offered to buy it for me (he must've been embarassed as we had been standing there for close to twenty minutes already with me just gazing at the bag) but i said no (why?why?why?).

i tried to convince myself that it was pangit. i fingered the workmanship and commented that it was poorly done. told myself that people would tell me that my bag looks like a basket people use to go to the market with. told myself i have more than one bag for each day of the week. reminded myself that i bought two shoes last thursday just because i felt the need to do so. i made a mental list of stuff that's upcoming: car insurance, car registration, first semester tuition fee, the possible hong kong trip with my brother, the possible bangkok trip with my lola and aunt.

the fact that i'm blogging about it now, two days after i first saw it means that none of it has worked. i still want that bag.

tumaas na naman ang gasolina. leche.

happy birthday to me.